--==ShAmPoO==--

March 30, 2009

The same mother I ranted about in one of my posts last year is treating me to HK this year. Wahoo!!! ;) I really wanted to see a Disney world. More than that, I LOVE to travel, to see other places and the multi-cultural ways of living on earth. Although aside from the vernacular and the weather, I’m not expecting much difference between Macau, HK and our civilization. Traveling would be one pastime I would have if there’s unending flow of cash in my hand.  Weekends would be spent at home while weekdays would be spent roaming around the globe. It would be like it was what I was born to do. Nothing else. I am sure that the places to visit outnumber the days that any person can live so there will always be new discoveries.

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Last night, Kenji and I saw the YES MAN starring Jim Carrey. The movie is about a man’s pledge to say YES. Despite that there’s no one to watch after his adherence to the covenant, he stuck to his promise – to say YES to practically anything. It would be found later on that he took it far more seriously than the rest of the followers. Or not.

I am not one who regrets something in the past. In fact, when people asked if I would love to go back in time I said no every time. If a millisecond [whatever is the shortest measurable period of time] is changed, it would transform the whole story. It would be a complete revision of history. Nothing after the alteration would be exactly the same. We won’t be who, where, what we are now. The people you hung out then and the group you’re with now would be poles apart when compared. The same logic I use why I don’t interrupt an ant procession. Do you ever wonder what’s behind their thread? Or how they keep it in spite of having poor to mediocre eyesight, sometimes completely blind? To keep the balance, their eyes were made very well in acute movement detection even with low resolution. They are gifted with organs to detect chemical signals and vibrations, allowing them to receive signals through touch. So, guys, they don’t kiss or say “hi” when they bump into each other, as how it may seem from our bare perspective. They sense. So how do they communicate especially when the lights are off? It’s a chemical signal, which I do not know the name. That’s the secret. They follow the direction through the intensity of the smell. A trail is left on the soil to be able to return to the food source from their colony. Following the best route creates a procession. This chemical is the same one used to send an alarm when an ant is crushed, causing disorder in the peaceful march.

Imagine the substantial adjustment they need to go through whenever we carelessly blocked an established path. Hope you don’t get it wrong. I do NOT want ant threads or ants themselves. In fact, a group of ants will prompt the coward in me. Although we encounter them almost daily [you just don’t notice] and I am concern about their welfare, they just are not the insects who know how to return a favor. They bite and not only that, their bite stings. The throb is initiated by another form of chemical that was sprayed or injected when they bit.  When this happens they almost always end up dying in our hands. Why am I talking about this here? To justify why I can mercilessly slaughter them with my little fingers.

I am allergic to ants. Yes, of all beings. I’d have to be bitten before it triggers but why should I wait, right? I can squash many of them with one blow.

Enough about ants and let me bring you back to the point.

So in the movie, YES MAN, Jim plays Carl who excuses himself from parties, night-outs with friends, almost everything. He spends weeknights at home instead of hanging out with his best friend. His typical weekend includes only a movie marathon and commenting sarcastically while he watches. Special occasions are not his business, even names are forgotten. He never smiles. He ignores flyers and denies loan application more than half of the time. He forgot to live. It all began when he and his wife separated 2 years ago. And obviously, he wasn’t getting by.

An old friend introduced him to a program which encourages YES when an opportunity presents itself. It’s normal to hesitate at first but when every YES returned good results, it became a habit. So he said yes to EVERYTHING. This brought him back to life, led him to what he was missing, and earned him reputation, friends and power. On top of all these beautiful returns, he met the girl who was equally adventurous. To cut it short, they didn’t marry [as what many might suspect, that would make the movie too good to be true] but they stayed together living each day as if it were the prime of their lives.

The movie maybe a little superficially perfect but it was enlightening to the point that I realized I was missing out on a lot of escapades. Those exciting activities I once had a passion to try but passed up on – mountaineering in college, soccer in high school, learning a musical instrument [violin or the ivories], bathing in the rain, a dangerous ride in the park, an exotic food, joining a picket, learning to sew, studying to become a Psychologist, working in a fashion industry [this one I did but did not culminate into what I wanted initially, become a stylist], or do whatever I’d love to at any moment. I’ve come to realize, though, that if I had never passed up on these occasions I would not have been through the great experiences I had gone through. I would not have met the people I know now. And that thought is just terrifying because I couldn’t imagine life without my husband who complements me. For sure I would have come across another being that would have completed me as my other half and our life could have been better. NOTHING would ever satisfy the curiosity. But I’m here. Here is my destiny. I would rather accept losing the chances of adventures in the past than be wholly unlike who and what I am now. This is the fate that my decisions have brought me and I love it.

To those who dwell on what could have been/s, remember that what if/s are never-ending. And if you don’t stop it from running your life, then you’re not living at all. Forget regrets, make good and love your decisions because they are who makes you, you. ♥  

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